


love dance

by jjaeniel



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: And in love, Ballet AU, M/M, Miscommunication, daniel and sungwoon are dumb, onghwang are exasperated
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-23
Updated: 2018-09-23
Packaged: 2019-07-15 21:29:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16071704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jjaeniel/pseuds/jjaeniel
Summary: kang daniel was good at a lot of things. some things small, some things big, but what he was really good at- fantastic at, even, was ballet.





	love dance

**Author's Note:**

> WELL..... ive been wanting to write this for literal months now and i finally found the inspiration to write this all within a WEEK... i love ballet and i love nielwoon (also. its mentioned but the ballet daniel is performing is romeo and juliet. theres a lot of kisses in it.)

kang daniel was good at a lot of things. some things small, some things big, but what he was  _ really  _ good at-  _ fantastic _ at, even, was ballet. 

so naturally, daniel did what most would do- he kept going up. 

he worked his way from the ground up- from the grades every ballet student had to go through, all the way onto auditioning for a company school and working under them. he quickly rose in rank due to his sheer talent alone, but unfortunately for him, he was nervous about one thing:

partnering. 

which lead him to now, frozen in the middle of the room, staring at his teacher with wide eyes, hands shaky on his partner’s hips. 

“no, no, no! absolutely not, kang daniel, that is all wrong,” his teacher yells, frown etched onto her face. “how do you expect to lift her with hands that shaky? how do you expect her to keep  _ her _ balance when you can’t even keep  _ yours _ ?”

daniel stays silent, knowing that not responding in situations like this was sometimes for the better. he  _ knows _ he fucked up, but it was hard to focus when every fibre of his being was concentrating on  _ not dropping his partner _ . he mentally sends his partner a thanks when her hands come up to wrap around his, as if she’s reassuring him everything would be fine. 

his teacher lets out a heavy, heavy sigh. “until you’ve learned how to do partnering i cannot have you apart of rehearsal,” she says. 

and with it, daniel’s whole world shatters just a fraction. 

~

it’s much, much later after rehearsal when seongwu finds daniel crying, head buried in his knees and shoulders shaking. 

“oh, niel,” seongwu says gently, making a move to sit next to the younger. 

“why did i think i’d get promoted to soloist when i can’t even  _ lift my partner correctly,” _ daniel says, voice muffled. he curls in tighter on himself as another set of sobs wracks his body.

it takes a while for daniel to calm down, but when he finally does, seongwu speaks.

“i’ll set you up with a friend of mine,” seongwu says gently, hand rubbing across daniel’s back soothingly. “he’s the best dancer i know, he’ll be able to help.”

“who?” daniel asks, letting out another sniffle. “i mean, no offense, but how is a guy gonna help me when my partner is a girl?”

“listen, he's tiny and we both know it doesn’t matter  _ who  _ they are when you’re learning as long as you can do the same moves,” seongwu says, fixing daniel with a stare. daniel pointedly ignores it.

“you still didn’t answer who it is,” daniel mumbles, ignoring seongwu’s very solid point. at this, seongwu stiffens slightly,  _ just _ enough that daniel can feel it from where seongwu’s hand is still on his back.

“seongwu,” daniel starts, head turning to look at the other. his eyes were still red and puffy, but he looked serious. “who is it?”

seongwu lets out a little nervous laugh, hand coming up to rub along the back of his neck. “so uh, about that,” he says, moving away from daniel slightly. “its maybe… ha sungwoon?”

“ha sungwoon,” daniel deadpans, eyes narrowing into slits. “ha sungwoon?  _ the _ ha sungwoon?”

seongwu lets out another nervous laugh.

daniel’s eyes narrow more.

“ _my_ _idol ha sungwoon?”_ daniel says after a while of seongwu not responding, voice raising slightly.

“p-perhaps,” seongwu stutters, shrinking in on himself.

“how the fuck do you know ha sungwoon!” daniel yells, voice shrill. he was going to  _ murder  _ seongwu.

“we trained together for a while?” seongwu says, letting out yet  _ another _ laugh. “like… maybe three years? when he was in london? which… i also… was. in london, i mean.”

“you told me you went to  _ new york _ not  _ london _ ,” daniel hisses, rubbing his temples. “you mean to tell me you just listened to me gush over him while you were probably texting him on the side like ‘kekeke listen to this absolute  _ loser _ ,’” he says, fixing seongwu with a look of betrayal.

“i didn’t! i swear!” seongwu rushes out, pouting slightly. “listen, i’m sorry i didn’t tell you sooner, okay? it’s just- he doesn’t talk about ballet anymore. like- at all. he doesn’t even want to  _ think _ about it.”

“then how do you expect him to help  _ me?” _ daniel asks, giving seongwu a look. “if he really hates ballet  _ that _ much now something tells me he won’t jump at the chance to help some junior soloist like me.” daniel pretends the thought of his  _ idol, _ the person he models after even now, actually hating the one thing he loves more than anything doesn’t hurt.

“i’ll figure something out,” seongwu says, getting up. “just… keep trying to practice with your partner in the meantime. just don’t drop her,” he adds, walking to the door and not looking back to see daniel’s reaction.

~

it takes three weeks for daniel to get any word back about The Ha Sungwoon Situation™ as he’s labeled it in his mind.

all seongwu does is text him a time and a place with a small ‘ _ good luck!’ _

the days leading up to meeting sungwoon are a nightmare, it being the only thing preoccupying daniel’s mind. what would sungwoon be like? would he be a strict teacher or a nice one? seongwu had said sungwoon didn’t want to even _think_ about ballet anymore, so why had he agreed to help at all?

their first lesson goes about as well as one would expect.

so naturally, it goes absolutely shit.

“what, do i need to get on pointe and put on a tutu for you to feel comfortable?” sungwoon snaps, staring at where daniel’s hands are hovering over his hips in the mirror. “how do you expect to get good at partnering when you can’t even  _ touch _ me?”

“well i clearly didn’t feel comfortable when someone  _ was _ on pointe and in a tutu, so, bad suggestion on your part,” daniel mumbles bitterly, hands clamping down on sungwoon’s hips in frustration. sungwoon had been yelling at him for the past  _ hour, _ and he was fed up and too tired to worry about being civil any longer.

“too tight,” the elder immediately says, fixing daniel with a cold stare. “you can’t be too loose so they lose balance but you can’t be too tight so they can’t  _ move, _ daniel.”

“well  _ maybe _ if someone actually cared about  _ teaching  _ me instead of nitpicking and not actually helping, i’d get  _ better _ ,” daniel snaps back, staring just as intensely at sungwoon in the mirror as the other is staring at him.

that is, until he hears a slow clap come from the door of the studio, daniel’s head immediately whipping around to see who was eavesdropping.

“i gotta say, the drama here, truly magnificent,” the intruder says, wiping a fake tear from their eye. “never seen anything so  _ intense  _ before.”

“fuck off, seongwu,” daniel snaps. it was hard enough dealing with sungwoon  _ alone _ , now with the addition of seongwu it was bound to get downright  _ impossible _ for the man.

“nope,” seongwu replies, popping the p. he moves to sit against the mirror, knees coming up close to his chest. “teacher told me to come check on your progress and judging by this, you haven’t gotten anywhere.”

“well maybe if he-“

“if he just stopped-“

daniel and sungwoon start at the same time, both rolling their eyes once they hear what the other started to say. seongwu lets out something akin to a cackle, shaking his head in disbelief.

“your teamwork is already great, i've never seen two people so  _ accidentally _ in sync before,” seongwu says after a minute. his eyes travel down from their faces to where daniel  _ still _ has his hands on sungwoon’s hips. “plus, it looks like you don’t wanna let go of him, so. that makes it good for practice.”

this has a blush climbing its way up daniel’s face, the younger’s hands slowly coming down and him backing away from sungwoon. he mumbles out a quick  _ ‘i was distracted,’  _ and looks down at the floor, foot swiping back and forth.

the room is silent for a while after that, sungwoon’s arms crossed over his chest. seongwu stares between the both of them for a minute and shakes his head.

“fine, you guys can be like that if you want,” he starts, groaning as he stands up. making his way towards the door, he looks back and stares directly at daniel. “but daniel- think about what’s  _ really _ important. is it ballet, becoming a soloist, or is it bickering with someone who is here to help you?”

and then he leaves, leaving sungwoon and daniel in complete silence.

~

their second lesson goes by smoother, daniel slowly getting the hang of being responsible for another person, sungwoon stepping down slightly and letting daniel  _ learn _ rather than just straight away nitpicking.

or, it  _ was _ going by smoother, until one  _ particular _ part of the script comes up.

“daniel, if it says in the script to fucking kiss me, you’re gonna fucking kiss me,” sungwoon snaps, hands not moving from where he’s holding daniel’s face in his palms for the scene. “i don’t  _ care _ if this isn’t real rehearsal.”

“i just don’t see  _ why _ i  _ have  _ to,” daniel says back, on one knee in front of sungwoon. “my teacher didn’t even make us kiss in rehearsal.”

“well then your teacher is an  _ idiot _ ,” sungwoon responds, taking a deep breath to try and tone down his frustration. “is it because i’m a man? like, tell me honestly.”

this has daniel rolling his eyes, letting out a slight scoff. as if to prove his point that kissing men was the  _ least _ of his worries, daniel leans up, up,  _ up, _ and plants a kiss right on sungwoon’s lips.

“fucking happy?” daniel snaps, pulling away from sungwoon altogether and standing up.

“ecstatic,” sungwoon snaps back, standing up as well. “i don’t see why that was so hard.”

“it wasn’t!” daniel practically yells, turning towards the shorter male and glaring at him. “maybe i just  _ didn’t want to kiss you.” _

“yet you did, to prove some point, that kissing men isn’t a big deal? it’s just a throwaway thing?” sungwoon responds, arms crossing over his chest.

“oh come off it,” daniel says, rolling his eyes. “i’m fucking  _ bi _ sungwoon, i quite  _ enjoy _ kissing men sometimes! just not men that  _ constantly yell at me.” _

“that’s sungwoon  _ hyung _ to you,” the elder responds, eyes following where daniel has moved across the room towards his bag, slinging it over his shoulder.

“i’ll call you hyung when you pull the stick outta your ass,” daniel says, slamming the door behind him as he leaves the studio.

sungwoon rolls his eyes even though daniel can’t see, and sets out to start cleaning up.

~ 

“i hate him. i really fucking hate him,” is the first thing daniel says when he sees seongwu, barging into the nearby studio.

“what happened now?” seongwu asks, not stopping what he was practicing. he always had a way of making his movements look  _ beautiful _ , long limbs aiding him in looking elegant. not that any of that mattered to a pissed off daniel, though.

“he made me kiss him and then he fucking _yelled at me_ _for kissing him,”_ daniel huffs out, angrily plopping down in the corner of the room. “who the fuck does that?”

going into a turn, seongwu hums, acknowledging what daniel said. “well, what happened before that?” he asks, making sure his lines are clean before practicing the turn again.

“well i wouldn’t kiss him, obviously,” daniel says like seongwu is the dumbest man to ever live, rolling his eyes. “he is-  _ was _ my idol. it’s just…  _ weird _ .”

“oooh, was? interesting,” seongwu responds, practicing a few jumps before turning his full attention on daniel. “he’s just trying to help, niel. i know it doesn’t seem like it because he’s callous but he really  _ is _ trying to help you.”

“bullshit,” daniel scoffs, standing up. “he doesn’t give a shit about  _ anything _ .”

“and how would you feel if you knew he called me  _ upset _ yesterday because he felt like he wasn’t being helpful?” seongwu says, raising an eyebrow.

daniel goes silent at this, teeth worrying his bottom lip. okay, so  _ maybe _ daniel was overreacting.  _ maybe _ he had been too harsh.  _ but sungwoon was just as bad _ , he reasons with himself,  _ he doesn’t even act like he cares! _

“daniel,” seongwu sighs, moving to sit on the dance studio floor and do his after practice stretching. “he really  _ does _ want to help. please just think about how hard this is for him as well. he hasn’t danced in almost four years and he’s coming back to all these emotions, feelings, surroundings again just to help  _ you _ .”

“i know but-“

“no, daniel,” seongwu interrupts, staring directly at the man in question. “i want you to think about it.  _ really _ think about how this all could feel for him. then come back and tell me if you really think he doesn’t care.”

seongwu leaves him after that, leaves him in complete silence to think. daniel has never felt so defeated in his life. outside, sungwoon watches silently, having heard the whole conversation. it takes a while for him to actually move from his spot, too much on his mind.

two dancers, so in sync they don't even realize, think long and hard about what this all means.

~ 

the third lesson is when everything changes. 

daniel comes early for once. he’s passing by the studio windows when he spots movement from the corner of his eye and immediately stops. taking a peek in, daniel freezes.

freezes and stares directly at sungwoon dancing.

he looks completely in his element, doing steps from an old routine. daniel  _ knows _ that routine, watched sungwoon perform it live-  _ multiple _ times. it’s different than watching it from the audience, though.

now, daniel can physically  _ see _ the care sungwoon puts into each and every move- how fluid he moves, as if he’s made of water. it momentarily shocks daniel, how  _ beautiful  _ everything looks, as if sungwoon never stopped dancing at all.

it’s then when sungwoon stops abruptly, sitting down to look like he was stretching. daniel takes that as his cue to finally stop watching, and makes his way inside the room.

“you’re late,” sungwoon says, looking up at daniel with a disapproving look.

“i know, i’m sorry. won’t happen again,” daniel says softly instead of his usual bite back, depositing his stuff off to the side and beginning to stretch. he ignores the wide eyed look sungwoon gives him.

it’s later, much later after the sun’s gone down when they’re resting that daniel poses a question.

“i just don't see why you hate it so much, you know? wasn’t it the sole love of your life for so long?” daniel asks from where he’s sprawled out on the floor of the dance studio. the lights are dimmed down low, so low daniel can barely see all the features of sungwoon. “how can you  _ truly _ hate something you once loved?”

this has sungwoon letting out a sarcastic laugh from where he's leaning against the mirror, head hung over his knees. “the sole love of my life… yeah, daniel, it was,” he starts, letting out another, quieter laugh. “but it  _ ruined _ my life as well. it sucked all the other passions i had out of my life until all i  _ had _ was ballet. until all i  _ was _ \- all i had  _ become _ was ballet. so tell me, daniel, how could i hate something i had wholeheartedly become?”

this renders daniel speechless, sungwoon never opening up to him before. sure, he knew sungwoon danced his whole life, had moved to london for six years and joined a company only to come back to korea to join the best company  _ here _ , became one of the best principal dancers in the country- but  _ everyone _ knew that. anyone who knew the name ha sungwoon  _ knew  _ that.

“why are you telling me this?” daniel practically whispers, mind racing a mile a minute.

“because i see the same thing happening to you, daniel,” sungwoon responds softly, tears in his eyes. “you get so frustrated in practice because you care  _ so much _ . you don’t have a life outside of ballet, i can  _ see _ it. this  _ is _ your life, and i don't want it to consume you and ruin you from the inside out like it did to me.”

“it’s not like i’ll ever make principal,” daniel says, fingers tracing an imaginary pattern on his chest. he purposely doesn’t look at sungwoon. “soloist at most.”

“absolutely not,” sungwoon responds, frown etched onto his face. “do you know how good you are? i mean- i’ve seen  _ actual _ principal dancers mess up more than you do. you have what it takes, daniel.”

daniel is quiet for a long time after that, just taking in every detail of sungwoon. as if he’d never see him again. as if sungwoon was just going to run away and never come back.

“hyung,” daniel says just as softly, sitting up and moving closer to where sungwoon was sitting. “hyung, i’m sorry.”

“sorry for what, daniel?” sungwoon says, hand coming up to wipe unshed tears. he ignores the little flutter in his chest at daniel actually calling him hyung. it didn’t mean anything.

“sorry for not thinking about your side of things. sorry for just assuming you wanted me to fail because i thought you hated ballet. sorry for everything,” daniel responds, eyes squinting slightly to  _ really _ see sungwoon in the dim light. daniel would be lying if he said he didn't think sungwoon was absolutely beautiful.

“daniel,” sungwoon breathes out, looking directly at daniel who’s gotten closer. almost  _ too _ close. “i didn’t give you  _ room  _ to think about the other side of things. i was an asshole for no reason.”

at this, daniel frowns, looking at sungwoon disapprovingly. “of course you had reasons, hyung. i can’t imagine coming back to something that ruined me after four years and being  _ happy _ about it. you had every right to be upset, and mad, and frustrated.”

the next few moments happen in slow motion for sungwoon.

daniel’s hand, reaching up to cup his cheek.

daniel, leaning in closer to sungwoon’s face.

daniel, kissing sungwoon, ever so gently right on his forehead.

and then he’s gone, no longer touching sungwoon. the elder wonders if he imagined it, if that whole sequence of events was just a hallucination.

he would believe it if his forehead where daniel kissed didn’t  _ literally _ feel on fire. he knows his face has to be bright red, and momentarily thanks the gods that it’s almost dark in the studio. 

daniel gets up after that, letting out a soft ‘ _ i have to go,’ _ and makes his way to the door. it's almost an exact replica of their last practice, this time just dimmer and less angry. this time more soft, more gentle.

“i’ll text you, hyung,” daniel throws over his shoulder, closing the door softly behind him.

sungwoon thinks about daniel for the rest of the night, and wonders why his heart feels so conflicted.

~

sungwoon spends the next few practices distinctly  _ not _ thinking about the kiss.

so, in reality, he can’t  _ stop _ thinking about it.

every time he looks at daniel, the kiss pops into his mind. every time daniel asks him a question, the kiss pops into his mind. every time he so much as  _ breathes _ near daniel,  _ the kiss pops into his mind. _

it’s throughout these practices that sungwoon also notices one thing. one  _ very big thing _ .

he might, just a little, a teeny tiny bit, like daniel as more than a student- friend-  _ whatever _ they were. he was never one to deny his feelings, just letting them run its course whenever they wanted. this time though, he desperately tries to. he cannot-  _ cannot _ be having these feelings, especially when he knows daniel doesn’t- won’t  _ ever _ feel the same.

they are strictly professional, and that's fine by sungwoon.

it’s a few weeks later, the debut date of the performance coming closer, when daniel is allowed in rehearsals again. sungwoon is invited to watch, and he readily agrees, wanting to see hands on what he needed to help daniel with next time.

it’s when they get to the kiss scene that sungwoon regrets almost everything. for once, the teacher wants to see them actually kiss. wants to see the chemistry, the vision come together.

so they kiss, and sungwoon’s chest burns. he’s  _ jealous. _

it’s not normal jealousy, though. it’s not directed at daniel’s partner, he's not bitter at her for getting to kiss daniel or anything of the sort. he’s jealous because while him and daniel have kissed several times over the past few weeks in practice, it would never be  _ real _ .

sungwoon excuses himself quickly, feeling as if he just needed to  _ get out _ to be able to actually  _ breathe.  _ he doesn’t see the panicked look daniel shoots him as he makes his way out.

for most of practice, sungwoon sits outside on the steps of the studio, thinking. it’s getting warmer out, and with it sungwoon’s feelings seem to defrost like they were frozen in ice.

he doesn’t notice someone’s sat down next to him -too deep in thought- until they lean into his side, letting out a long sigh.

“what’s wrong?” seongwu asks, staring out across the open grass in front of the studio. 

“nothing,” sungwoon tries to brush off, leaning back into seongwu. he feels  _ tired.  _ “absolutely nothing. and that’s what’s wrong.”

“ah,” seongwu responds, turning so he can look at sungwoon. he’s got his elbows balanced on his knees, face in his palms, and he looks tired.

“i think i like daniel,” sungwoon blurts out, eyes never leaving the trees in the distance. “no, i know i do.”

“ _ ah,” _ seongwu repeats, understanding gracing not only his features but his voice as well. “well, i can’t say i didn’t see it coming.”

“would’ve been nice to let me know,” sungwoon mumbles bitterly, pouting. “i don’t  _ want _ this.”

“no one  _ wants _ to get romantic feelings on friends,” seongwu responds. “trust me on that one.”

“oh, i do,” sungwoon says, legs stretching out and moving to lean back on his hands. “i danced again, the other day.”

seongwu hums in acknowledgement, mirroring sungwoon’s position. “daniel worries about you, you know.”

“worries?” sungwoon questions, slight disbelief in his voice. “worries over what?”

“how you’re holding up, how all of this is for you. he thinks he's unintentionally hurting you,” seongwu says softly, head tilting back to look at the sky. “he cares about you, a lot. i can tell.”

sungwoon stays quiet after that, just content to sit in silence and take in all seongwu just said. it takes him awhile, but he eventually stands back up with a soft  _ ‘you coming?’ _ , making his way back to the studio room.

he doesn’t miss the proud smile seongwu gives him on the way in.

~

“i’m freaking the fuck out,” is the first thing out of daniel’s mouth the second he sees sungwoon. “i’m gonna fucking- fuck- what if i drop her? what the fuck. fuck romeo and juliet, i’m quitting ballet.”

“hello to you too,” sungwoon says, taking in daniel’s appearance. he’s already in his stage outfit and has all his makeup on, set to perform in under an hour. “stop freaking out.”

“i’m trying!” daniel says, voice shrill. “i’m gonna drop her in front of everyone. or i’ll just entirely miss her mouth during one of the kisses. or my lines will look like  _ shit  _ and i’ll never get promoted.”

“daniel,” sungwoon says, sitting in a nearby chair. “how many times have you been on stage?”

“too many to count,” daniel responds, hopping from one foot to the other to try and get out nervous energy.

“and how long have you been doing ballet?” sungwoon asks.

“since i was five,” daniel responds.

“daniel, this is what you  _ know _ . you  _ know _ partnering now, you  _ know  _ how to be on stage with other people, you  _ know this _ ,” sungwoon reassures him, watching daniel bounce from left foot to right foot. “and i hate to tell you this, but romeo and juliet is hardly the worst ballet to perform.”

“fuck, if only daniel from a few months ago knew he’d be getting a pre-performance pep talk from  _ the _ ha sungwoon. i think he’d just die,” daniel says, laughing nervously. every fibre of his being felt like it was vibrating in anxiety.

sighing softly, sungwoon gets up and grabs daniel’s face in his hands, effectively stopping his nervous jumping. “chill out.  _ the _ ha sungwoon is telling you that you got this, i think he knows what he's talking about,” sungwoon says, deciding to not think about how this position could look to other people. all he was focused on was daniel.

“what if this time he’s wrong?” daniel whispers, eyes wide like he was  _ terrified.  _ sungwoon’s heart hurt.

“didn’t seongwu tell you i’m never wrong?” sungwoon says with a smile, thumb rubbing across daniel’s cheek. “you haven’t made a mistake in practice in over a week. the stage is no different than practice if you don't let it be.”

“okay,” daniel responds softly, biting his lip. nodding resolutely, he lets out another  _ ‘okay,’  _ and steps away from sungwoon. “thank you.”

“of course,” sungwoon says, hands falling back to his sides. daniel would be fine. 

and fine he was. sungwoon watches from the audience, split between trying to find things to go over in corrective rehearsal and being in  _ awe _ at how beautiful daniel looks in his element. 

between all the jumps and turns and lifts, daniel  _ truly _ plays the part. he makes a perfect romeo, sungwoon realizes, and his partner a juliet. they look  _ beautiful _ together, and sungwoon wants to feel jealous. he wants to, but he can’t. he’s just-  _ proud. _

it’s after the performance when everything goes to shit for sungwoon. he’s excited- ecstatic even. that’s why when he goes in to hug daniel, his mouth almost hits the younger’s cheek.

_ almost _ .

sungwoon panics, not knowing what his brain was  _ thinking _ in making him get that close to kissing daniel, and he hopes-  _ prays _ daniel didn’t notice. hooking his chin over the taller man’s shoulder, sungwoon momentarily lets out a breath he’d been holding as discreetly as he can.

“you did fucking fantastic,” he says, rubbing up and down daniel’s back. “like, really, really fantastic.”

“thank you,” daniel says breathily, practically bent over sungwoon so he could hug him better. “really, thank you. for everything.”

“don’t thank me yet, we still have corrective rehearsal,” sungwoon says with a laugh, pulling away from daniel. “but i barely saw anything we have to go over, which is impressive. i’m really proud.”

at this, daniel blushes, head ducking and hand coming up to rub the back of his neck. he lets out a little  _ ‘stooop,’ _ that has sungwoon laughing loudly, daniel sounding more like a little kid than a full grown adult.

it’s when sungwoon leaves daniel, the younger going out with the company to celebrate, that he remembers almost kissing him.

almost kissing him and ruining everything.

and- well- he  _ didn’t.  _ which is what should matter. but to sungwoon’s anxiety- to his newfound fear of losing daniel (they had gotten too close in the past few weeks- the younger was practically a staple in sungwoon’s daily routine by now) none of that mattered. all that mattered was that he  _ almost _ couldn’t control himself, and he  _ almost _ messed things up.

so he goes home and stews in his own bitterness.

~

everyone goes out after the first performance. daniel had learnt pretty quickly that ballet dancers really only drink on one of two occasions: after the first performance of a new show, and when someone had a really  _ really  _ bad day.

luckily for daniel, this time it was the former. 

it doesn’t take him long to get drunk (thankfully), and before he knows it he’s dancing with random people from his company on the dance floor. it  _ does _ take him awhile to find seongwu again though, the other having disappeared the second they arrived to the club together.

“seongwu!” daniel yells happily when he spots the elder, arms flinging out to open up for a very sloppy hug. he thinks he almost hits a few people in the process, but he's drunk and happy so it’s  _ fine _ . 

seongwu accepts the hug with a small laugh, hand coming up to rub the back of daniel’s head. he’s barely drunk himself, having made a mad dash to go see minhyun -the owner of the club and seongwu’s  _ boyfriend _ \- as soon as they arrived. 

“how you holding up buddy?” seongwu asks, head coming back so he can get a good look at daniel’s face. the younger boy has a dopey smile on it, looking happier than he has in months (save when he was with sungwoon). 

“i’m f _ aaaaaa _ ntastic,” daniel drags out, smiling even wider if that was possible. in the next second he's pouting though, whining out a, “but i'm t _ iiiiired.” _

seongwu lets out another laugh at how dramatic a drunk daniel is, and leads him over to a (luckily) open table on the side of the room. he orders daniel to sit and stay like he's a large dog rather than a man while seongwu goes to the bar to get a drink (i mean, he  _ was _ here wasn’t he? he might as well drink). 

it’s later, when seongwu is significantly more drunk, that daniel starts whining. 

“i miss sungwooooonie,” he says, huffing, chin coming to rest on the table. “why isn’t  _ he _ here, seongwu?”

“i dunno, niel,” seongwu says, hand clumsily coming up to pet across daniel’s head. 

“he’s  _ soooooo _ great,” daniel gushes, small smile coming across his face. “he’s so helpful and lovely and  _ tiny.” _

at this, seongwu pulls out his phone, starting to record daniel who’s  _ still _ gushing about sungwoon like he’s the best thing since sliced bread. 

and obviously, because seongwu is drunk, he sends the video to sungwoon with a  _ ‘coem get ur boyfiredn,’  _ satisfied smile gracing his features. 

it’s then when minhyun decides to come down from his office on the second level, giving seongwu a smile when he lets out something that sounds  _ very _ close to a squeal. 

“minhyunnie! my favorite boyfriend!” seongwu yells, leaning up for a kiss. minhyun obliges, pecking seongwu quickly, hand coming up to wrap around seongwu’s waist. 

“i better be your only boyfriend,” minhyun jokingly threatens, eyes turning to daniel whos staring at them with wide eyes. “hi, how are you?”

“why’d you- why’d you kiss seongwu?” daniel asks, eyebrows furrowing. turning to seongwu, he asks, “boyfriend? you have a boyfriend?”

“yup!” seongwu says, popping the p. “he’s my favorite person  _ ever.” _

“oh,” daniel says, eyebrows still furrowed. “i wish sungwoonie was my boyfriend,” he says dejectedly, looking down at the table.

it’s then when sungwoon decides to text seongwu back, minhyun picking it up where it was resting on the table (it was a rule one always had rights to the other’s phone when they were drunk- it saved a lot of embarrassment).

“oh no seongwu, what did you do,” minhyun whispers, staring at the  _ ‘where are you?’ _ text from sungwoon. quickly texting sungwoon the address and letting him know he was sorry on seongwu’s behalf, minhyun pockets the other’s phone, tuning back into the two drunk boys’ conversation about  _ something _ . 

~

when sungwoon got the text from seongwu, he was originally going to ignore it. he was still upset with himself for almost kissing daniel, he was  _ tired _ , and truthfully just wanted to take a bath and go to  _ bed _ , but he knew he physically couldn’t do that once he actually watched the video.

the tinny  _ ‘where’s sungwoooonie,’ _ s and  _ ‘i miss him soooo much,’ _ s coming from the speaker of his phone were enough convincing for him, a small bout of panic welling up in his chest. 

what if daniel drank too much? what if he wandered off? what if some creep tried to get him to come home with them and did something horrible?

realistically, sungwoon knows daniel is with minhyun. sungwoon  _ trusts _ minhyun, more than most. nothing could stop the little anxious voice in his head from sounding off, though. 

which is why sungwoon immediately throws on something presentable and heads out. it doesn't take him long to arrive, the man essentially running to the club. he was worried. he had no idea how much daniel had to drink at that point, if he was still with seongwu and minhyun, if he was still at the  _ club  _ (he doubts minhyun would’ve let him leave but he was  _ worried, _ remember?).

quickly spotting the group at one of the tables by the door, sungwoon makes his way over, trying to look like he didn’t literally run there. 

“hey,” minhyun says, flashing sungwoon an apologetic smile before looking at where daniel has his head laid out on the table, pout permanently etched onto his face. the younger is letting out soft ‘ _ want sungwoonie’ _ s every few seconds. 

nodding to minhyun in thanks, sungwoon turns and just  _ looks _ at daniel for a minute. the boy still hasn’t noticed he’s there, either too drunk or too caught up in missing him to realize. “daniel,” sungwoon says after a while, biting his lip. why was he so  _ nervous _ ?

it takes daniel a minute to process that someone spoke to him, head turning up from where it was previously laying. when he sees sungwoon, his whole face lights up, eyes turning into little happy crescents. 

“sungwoonie!” he says, sitting upright so he can move his arms out for a hug. he makes a happy noise when sungwoon obliges, arms wrapping entirely around the smaller male.

“hey, niel,” sungwoon says softly, as soft as he can in a club full of people. “how you feelin’?”

“fan _ tastic,” _ daniel says, chin coming up to hook around sungwoon’s shoulder instead of letting him go. “i  _ misssssed  _ you.”

“you saw me a few hours ago, after the performance, remember?” sungwoon says with a laugh, hand coming up to rub across the expanse of daniel’s shoulders.

“oh,” daniel says, eyebrows furrowing. “i did,” he adds on, nodding resolutely. “but i still missed you. always miss you.”

this has a blush gracing sungwoon’s face, the elder coughing awkwardly. “let’s get you home,” he says after a beat, moving away from daniel.

“‘kay,” daniel agrees readily, standing up and immediately stumbling. letting out a giggle, daniel holds out his hand, looking at sungwoon expectantly.

sighing in fond exasperation, sungwoon takes hold of daniel’s hand in his own and moves to drag daniel out of the club, not before thanking minhyun and flipping off seongwu at the slurred ‘ _ have fun lovebirds!’ _ from him.

once they’re outside, sungwoon takes a deep,  _ deep _ breath and mentally prepares himself for the walk home.

it’s precisely  _ then _ when he realizes he has absolutely no idea where the fuck daniel lives. figuring asking daniel for directions is useless in his state, sungwoon thinks of the next best thing:

he walks with daniel back to his own apartment.

daniel is surprisingly quiet on the walk there, just settling for swinging their hands back and forth between them and humming a tune only he knows. sungwoon’s heart feels warm, but he chooses to ignore it over  _ just getting them home.  _ he was still exhausted from earlier, but thankfully his mood had lifted significantly.

“woonie,” daniel gasps out, stopping in his tracks. sungwoon stumbles slightly, looking at daniel in confusion as the younger male starts to bend down.

“what is it? do you feel okay?” sungwoon asks worriedly, still holding onto daniel’s hand. he watches the younger hold out his unoccupied hand in confusion, wondering what the  _ hell _ daniel was doing.

that is, until a small kitten makes its way out of the shadows, immediately rubbing up into daniel’s large palm. the male in question lets out a happy noise, looking up at sungwoon with a look of pure, unadulterated happiness on his face.

“it’s so soft,” daniel whispers, looking back down at the kitten. “i need it,” he says matter of factly, fingers rubbing over the small cat’s ears. “it looks like minhyunnie hyung.”

“daniel you can’t take home a kitten,” sungwoon tries to reason, until he sees how skinny the poor thing actually  _ is _ , and bites his lip.

“ _ please,” _ daniel begs, looking up at sungwoon with wide eyes as the kitten all but jumps into daniel’s lap. daniel lets out another happy noise, petting gently along the kitten’s back. “it’s so  _ tiny _ it’ll  _ die _ out here,” he says dramatically. sungwoon knows he’s probably right. 

sungwoon lets out an exasperated sigh. “c’mon,” he says gently, letting go of daniels hand and bending down to scoop up the kitten. hell if he would let a very drunk daniel hold something this small and fragile. 

getting up, daniel follows sungwoon readily, eyes never leaving the kitten snuggled into sungwoon’s hoodie. he might stumble a few times, but it’s okay as long as he gets to look at the ball of fluff for longer.

arriving to sungwoon’s apartment, daniel makes a confused noise, looking to the elder for answers.

“it was easier than asking you for directions to your own place,” sungwoon says shrugging, unlocking his door with one hand. ignoring the little voice in his head that says maybe, just  _ maybe _ , he wanted to spend more time with daniel, he turns on a light instead.

“oh,” daniel says, stepping in and taking off his shoes clumsily. he coos when the kitten makes a small sound, letting out a string of  _ ‘don't cry’ _ s.

sungwoon makes his way into the apartment, beckoning for daniel to follow, and leads them to his room. “you can sleep here,” sungwoon says, still holding the damn kitten.

“but- but where’ll you sleep?” daniel asks, staring at sungwoon with wide eyes.

“the couch?” sungwoon replies, looking up at daniel. he didn’t want a sober daniel to wake up in the morning and think something happened when it didn't and- why was daniel so close to his face?

“oh,” daniel says again, like it was his favorite word in the world. “okay,” he adds on, stepping into sungwoon’s room.

not before kissing sungwoon square on the mouth, though.

sungwoon stands there, frozen, just watching daniel get into bed. it takes a minute for him to get his bearings again, and when he does he turns off the light and closes the door with a soft  _ ‘goodnight, daniel.” _

getting the kitten situated in the bathroom and pulling out a comforter and pillow from his hall closet, sungwoon makes his way to the living room, still thinking about daniel  _ kissing him _ .  _ he’s drunk _ , sungwoon reminds himself,  _ so it means nothing _ .

it means nothing, but sungwoon can't stop  _ thinking.  _ can’t stop thinking so much he doesn’t fall asleep until the sun starts to come up, feeling exhaustion settle into every fibre of his being.

he’s awoken not even a few hours later by a loud crash and an equally as loud curse.

“what the fuck was that?” sungwoon calls out, sitting up and rubbing one eye. it takes a minute for daniel to appear in the doorway, and when he does sungwoon nearly closes his eyes again.

daniel has decided sometime overnight that shirts are not for people like him, and is currently standing very shirtless in the entryway of sungwoon’s kitchen.

“i was, uh, trying to make breakfast as a thanks, and uh,” daniel says, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “i maybe ruined one of your pans.”

letting out a groan, sungwoon buries his face in the couch cushion. mumbling a ‘ _ please never try to cook in my house,’ _ sungwoon groans again and stands up, stretching.

“noted,” daniel says, eyes snapping down to where sungwoon’s shirt rose up while stretching. “um, is there a cafe around? i can go get something?” he asks hesitantly, like he was toeing the line between  _ something _ . domesticity, maybe.

“around the corner, on main,” sungwoon responds nonchalantly (despite feeling his heart flutter), moving past daniel to get water. maybe if he just pretended daniel  _ wasn’t  _ shirtless and acting all domestic in his living room, he’d stop ( _ sungwoon didn’t want him to stop _ ).

“got it,” daniel says, moving to leave before promptly turning around when sungwoon yells a ‘ _ put on a shirt, perhaps?’ _ , making his way back to sungwoon’s bedroom. “thanks!” he says before walking out the door, setting out to find the cafe.

it’s later, when daniel gets back and they're eating pastries, that daniel bursts the perfect bubble they had been in for the past hour.

“so, why didn’t you tell me i kissed you last night? and also apparently rescued a kitten,” he says, pulling apart one of his croissants with his fingers. he’s trying to be nonchalant but he’s pretty sure he’s failing by a mile.

sungwoon freezes, feeling like he was caught trying to hide something when he wasn’t. “i didn't think you’d want to remember?” he provides, knowing his argument is weak. he wasn’t  _ lying _ though, he really did think daniel wouldn’t want to remember kissing him.

“you didn’t think… i’d want to know that?” daniel responds slowly, taking a deep breath. “well, i’m sorry. for kissing you. and probably putting you in an uncomfortable situation.”

daniel was being entirely too diplomatic for sungwoon’s tastes, his skin crawling with something uncomfortable. “it’s fine, you didn’t. swear,” sungwoon mumbles, staring down at his half eaten pastry. “just, um. the kitten? i can’t exactly have pets in this place.”

“i’ll take her,” daniel responds softly. “she’ll get along fine with my other cats, probably.”

sungwoon nods at that, not even  _ knowing _ daniel had other cats. sungwoon realizes then he really doesn’t know  _ much _ about daniel outside of ballet and things seongwu has told him in passing. what was he thinking, liking someone he barely knew anything about?

daniel leaves after an hour of awkward silence, kitten swaddled in blankets in his arms. 

“be safe,” sungwoon says, hand on the door. something in him feels  _ sour _ . 

“course. i’ll text you when i’m home,” daniel responds, either not picking up on sungwoon’s mood or choosing to ignore it. 

with that, he leaves, sungwoon closing the door behind him. he stays there for a while after daniel’s left, forehead resting against the door, taking deep breaths and letting them out slow.

he felt like an  _ idiot _ for being in love-  _ in love _ with someone who only saw their relationship as something professional. it  _ sucked _ .

if he calls minhyun and cries over it later, neither bring it up after the fact.

~

“i’m a fucking idiot,” daniel says, annoyed. “like, i’m so fucking stupid, seongwu,” he practically whines in to the phone.

“what happened  _ now,” _ seongwu says exasperatedly, getting tired of being the middleman in all of daniel and sungwoon’s drama.

“i kissed sungwoon last night when i was drunk,” daniel says, hand coming up to pet the kitten sleeping on his stomach. “and so i asked him this morning why he didn’t tell me i did and i… i just fucked up.”

“at least drunk daniel has more balls than sober daniel,” seongwu mumbles bitterly, shifting and putting his phone on speaker so minhyun could listen in. “minhyunnie’s here, say hi.”

“really? you’re letting your boyfriend listen in on my mental breakdown?” daniel asks. “what kind of best friend are you?”

“one who’s tired, daniel,” seongwu replies. he feels emotionally drained in more ways than one. he just wanted daniel and sungwoon to  _ figure their shit out.  _ “i’m stuck between two fucking  _ idiots _ ,  _ all the time _ .”

“stop being a fuckwad, daniel!” minhyun yells from somewhere in the background. 

“yeah daniel, stop being a fuckwad,” seongwu reiterates, finally laughing. 

“i’m not being a fuckwad!” daniel yells back exasperatedly, letting out small giggles at the thought of minhyun, scary club owner minhyun, using the word  _ fuckwad. _

“you are! you totally are!” seongwu says back in between giggles. “a total fuckwad. let me live my life in peace with my nice boyfriend and not have to deal with love crises!”

suddenly going serious, daniel lets out a sigh. “listen, i’m sorry. it’s just- he’s just- and i’m-“ he stops, not being able to find his footing in where he wanted the sentence to go. 

“you’re overwhelmed,” seongwu offers. “you’re overwhelmed and you’re busy and you’re in  _ love _ , and it's too much.”

“yeah,” daniel responds softly, silently thankful seongwu can piece together his thoughts so well. he’s always been able to, daniel realizes, ever since he joined the company and they met. seongwu’s always just been  _ there _ for him and- and maybe he has been an ass. “sorry for being a fuckwad.”

“it’s alright,” seongwu says, smiling even though daniel can’t see. “now c’mon, back to you being an idiot. so you kissed him, and you asked him why he didn’t say anything. then what?”

“then he said- he said he thought i wouldn’t wanna know i did, that i wouldn’t wanna remember,” daniel responds. he hears a  _ ‘i’m gonna kick his ass,’ _ from minhyun, and furrows his brows. “please don't do that,” he says in response.

“oh i’ll do it alright,” minhyun says louder, still sounding far away. “you’re both so  _ stupid _ .”

“what’s that supposed to mean?” daniel asks, genuinely confused. what did he do  _ now? _

“i think what minhyun means is- i think you guys just need to talk. like genuinely. about feelings. and shit,” seongwu says oh so eloquently. “and, and! me and minhyunnie can mediate. or not, and let you two go on being stupid.”

“there’s no  _ feelings _ to discuss. i like him, he doesn't like me, it’s all good. it’ll go away eventually,” daniel responds matter of factly.

and is met with two long, suffering groans.

“goodbye, daniel,” seongwu says after he’s done groaning, sounding annoyed all over again. “please. come over next week and sort your shit out.”

and then he hangs up, leaving daniel confused as ever.

sungwoon  _ didn’t  _ like him- right?

~

daniel doesn’t even make it until next week when he's approached by sungwoon. 

“we need to talk,” is all the elder says, dragging daniel away by his elbow from woojin (a fellow dancer- tap, not ballet), into the nearest empty studio they can find. he sounds annoyed, but daniel can’t recall doing anything  _ worth _ annoying sungwoon.

“huh?” daniel says oh so eloquently, being practically shoved into the studio. he stumbles slightly, letting out a  _ ‘the fuck?’ _ before turning around and looking at where sungwoon has his arms crossed over his chest. “what the fuck did i do?”

“what you  _ didn’t  _ do is more the problem,” sungwoon snaps, frown etching his face. “you can’t just- you can’t just kiss me and then pretend it never happened.”

“you’re the one who didn’t tell me because you thought i wouldn’t want to remember!” daniel exclaims, feeling like the whole situation was ridiculous. sungwoon was mad over  _ this?  _ “why the fuck would i pretend like something  _ happened _ when you didn’t want it to!”

“maybe because i lied, daniel!” sungwoon says loudly, hand immediately coming up to cover his mouth. he looks at daniel with wide eyes, who is staring back at him with equally as wide eyes, mouth hanging open slightly. 

“you what?” daniel says after a while, voice quiet.

“i- i, gotta go,” sungwoon rushes out, turning to leave. his hand makes it to the door handle before there’s a hand on his arm, effectively stopping him. “daniel, let me go.”

“no,” daniel says softly, grip loosening slightly despite what he said. sungwoon doesn’t move. “i'm tired, hyung. i’m tired of all of this.”

“me too,” sungwoon responds just as softly, head bowing. tired was an  _ understatement.  _ he was exhausted, fed up, ready for this all to be over with. he knew daniel was too. “me too, daniel.”

“so  _ say something,” _ daniel stresses, moving so he was between sungwoon and the door. “tell me to go, or tell me to stay. just tell me to do  _ something _ .”

sungwoon takes a deep breath and lets it out slow before saying a quiet  _ ‘please don’t go,’ _ finally looking up at daniel. the younger looks shocked at sungwoon’s words, as if he’s asking if sungwoon really means it. sungwoon definitely  _ does. _

wrapping up sungwoon in a hug, daniel lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “i thought you didn’t feel the same,” daniel says, smiling slightly when he feels sungwoon’s arms wrap around his waist.

“well, too bad, cause i do,” sungwoon says with a smile, looking up at daniel. “you’re stuck with me now.”

“oh no, whatever shall i do,” daniel says dramatically, holding back giggles. “this is  _ awful,” _ he jokes.

rolling his eyes, sungwoon leans up slightly and plants a kiss right on daniel’s lips. “oops, that must’ve been real bad for you,” he says, fake pouting. “sorry.”

“shut up,” daniel says, pulling on sungwoon’s shirt to kiss him again. and again, and again. daniel doesn’t know how long they stand there trading kisses, but he wouldn’t move even if the world was ending. 

~

“do you think they know the windows are one way mirrors?” seongwu asks, taking a sip of his coffee. from where he was standing, he could see daniel and sungwoon practically making out.

“probably not,” minhyun says, face close to the window. he was  _ nosy,  _ alright? “but it’s good so i can keep watching,” he adds.

“stop being a fucking creep,” seongwu says, hitting minhyun’s shoulder.

“i’m just admiring the fruits of my labor,” minhyun whines, rubbing his shoulder. “it only took them three months to get together. three months of _us_ _suffering.”_

pausing, seongwu thinks over what minhyun said. “fuck it, you’re right,” he says, moving closer to the window himself so he could get a full view.

despite all the frustration and drama, the hard work, sweat, and tears, seongwu  _ was  _ happy for them. they would be fine.

sungwoon and daniel would be fine.

**Author's Note:**

> thank u for reading! :D
> 
>  
> 
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